I need...

A new picture, and too get back to church. You know why I need these things. I had a little falling away from god, and that picture has been up there for over a year. As it is, the picture is two years old. I also need to update this more.But I will type more of this later, because I am in class an I need to get back to work.

Well...

In the end, I chose Atheism. Nothing really makes sense, and I'm done subscribing to a religion that I can't confirm. Many friends have said "Well, I pray for you." or, "How can you live without anything to belive in?" or some have straight out said, "So you can't confirm your religion so you take the easy way out?" just some of the responses I have gotten from this choice. But I can't believe in something, that I hasn't shown me anything, that gives me a reason to believe. Whatever, I suppose that if God is out there then he will give me something to believe in, but until then, I cannot believe in God.

Over and out (For now)

NOTE: when i said that i haven't been shown anything I didn't neccessarily mean "senn with my own eyes" I mean that nothing has made me absoulutley sure that this is the truth.

Atheism, and Agonticism.

I'm considering Atheism, after many years of being Agnostic. I was Christian before that. But I was a small child, and didn't fully understand christianity. After i learned more I started to have doubts. I became Agnostic around second grade. I still considered myself christian. I didn't even know Agnosticism existed. Hell in second grade the only religions I knew about where Christianity, and Judaism.
But in recent Monthes I have come to accept myself as an agnostic, and now, I am starting to see the idea that god might not be real a little more clearly. quite a few things are causing me to see it this way.
1.) God says in the bible that he will always answer our prayers, not just once but many times. But, if we stand in front of a pot of water, without flame under it, and pray for God to make it boil the water will not magically start boiling. Most christians rationalize this in many ways. Some of the rationalizations include "It is not his will." and "This request is trival." But god never once says do not pray to me about water.
2.) Christians recieve other religions stories, as pure fantasy, yet stories from their own religon are recived as truth. But, then again, members of the muslim faith reciave christian stories as illusion. Muslims are the only ones who believe in Mohammad. Mormons are the only ones who believe the stories of Joseph Smith, Buddhists are the only onst who believe in Buddah, and christians are the only ones who belive in Jesus. Which one is true? A christian would emmediatly say "The christian one". What is the proof that state, beyond a shadow of a doubt that the christian faith is the absoulute truth? Why, the Bible of course. But the muslims have the Koran, The Mormons have the book of Mormon. How are these any less credible than the Bible? "Well, the bible doesn't say anything about them." a Christian would argue, to which I would say "They don't say anything about the bible."
3.) A very wise friend of mine quoted this to me "If a man knows that he knows what he knows, and Knows that he doesn not know what he does not know. That man is truely wise." The whole system of faith, and belief is humanity treing to say that they know what they really dont have the slightest idea about.

So with all this floating around me how am I supposed to believe the christian faith, or any faith, is true. I can't. Still I can't help but shake this feeling I have I'll use an example.
I met my friend eric, at my old school. Then i went to a new school. in my second year at this school iw ent to erics house. there i met someone that eric knew, this person went by the name of Chris, and he went my school as well. soon i was hanging out with Chris at my new school. Are these events random, would i still have met Chris if i had not met Eric? I don't know. I'm pretty sure i would be asscoiating with a completely different group right now if one tiny thing had gone differently at my old school.
Lets say instead of becoming friends with Eric, i became his enemy. Chris is huge, very muscular. If i had become an enemy of Eric, maybe i would have become an enemy of Chris as well(I'm glad I didn't become Erics enemy because both Eric and Chris are super cool.) So what made it so that I became friends with Eric instead of enemies (While I hate to admit it there was a very brief period of time where there was friction between me and Eric.). Did this things happen just by coincidence? Or is there some higher force acting to make this happen. I am not saying that God is at work, but maybe it's nature, or some universla law. Maybe it is God. Maye God Really does exist.
Here is another peculiar tid bit about Eric and I. Erics mother almost sent Eric to my preschool, the school that i went ot for kindergarten, and to my elemntary school. but she did not because she did not think he would fit in there. Because of this I did not meet Eric until eighth grade. An atheist would say, "It's just because his mom thought he would fit in at the other schools, nothing more." A christian would say "God thought that it wasn't the right time for you and Eric to meet." Which one is right. I haven't a clue. I eed a sign, or some insight from somone who can help me. I need someone to show me the way, the right path. If anyone is out there that can help me I urge you to post a response to this in the comments section. Your input would be most appreciated.

Sam's Death "A Eulogoy for Sam"

Sam, The Worlds ugliest dog three years running, died on friday, November 18, of hear failure. Owner susie lockheed stated that she doesn't think there will ever be another Sam. "Some people would see that as a good thing" she said.
I am a huge fan of sam, and i was very sad to find out about his death. Most of my friends were sad too. a couple were overjoyed. which was demented. Sam held a special place in my heart, and everyones hearts. he will be sorely missed.
Goodbye Sam.

Dear God!

I seem to have fallen asleep on the job! i havent kept my amazingly small fanbase updated. nothing is really going on except for music you can check out my musical projects on myspace soon. other than that nothing. i have to right this report for the motion picture acadmy now, its about asians in the media, the most random asignment ever I know but whatever. I may be gone even longer. the impending report card is bound to get me grounded. I know i am failing one class. I improved in one, and took a nose dive in all the others. oh well. whatever.

My dear friend

I called my friend the other day. I enjoy talking to him very much. But my parents didnt seem to trust him. They need to relax a little more. They need to trust me to make the right descisions. They are afraid that he is gonna kidnap me in ym sleep. I know he isnt, but they dont. They dont think i know how to stay safe, but i can. I told them this but they werent in a listening mood. either way i am not supposed to talk to him anymore. Doesn't mean i wont tho. Im not giving up the good fight, I may have lost the battle, but i havent lost the war.

I googlewhacked without cheating.

i went on google about an hour or so ago and i typed in

AAAH YAHYAHYAH

and i google whacked it without an advanced search or anything. here is ther link http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=AAAH+YAHYAHYAH but with the constant changes in the web, it may not be there anymore.